Brats: Do Not Want! Helping children understand the difference between a right and a privilege.

As a parent you are introducing a new member to society. This person can either benefit society or be a nuisance. Your children are a reflection of you and like Mariah Carey, you only want to show your good side!

Do not over indulge your child
It’s a battle to raise a happy child, yet not spoiled or ungrateful. When I was my daughter’s age I didn’t have a cell phone, multiple video games systems, my own computer or tons of other gadgets, gizmos and games. In giving your child whatever their heart desires, it should not be about keeping up with the Jones’s or buying every toy on the shelf just because you can afford it. As a parent you want to give your child everything your parents gave you plus more, however, one can have too much of a good thing.  Remember,  “He who has everything appreciates nothing.”  It’s important not to give in to every request.

Teach the meaning of “NO”
“No” is a very simple word that for some can be very hard to understand.  If your child grows up thinking that “No” means “Yes,” “Maybe “or “Lets Debate,” they will lack a respect for authority.  It is important to hold your ground when you tell them no even when they try everything to convince you otherwise.

Understand consequences
It is important to take action for bad behavior. Children must know such behavior is not acceptable and will not be tolerated.  If your child knows that they are not to do something but they do it anyway and you do nothing, you cannot in turn be shocked when you see the bad behavior displayed again in the future. Corporal punishment is not acceptable, but extra chores and/or reduced privileges can do wonders.  Even the smallest form of punishment can go a long way in the mind of a child.

For example, a neighbor’s child was being teased because his clothing wasn’t as “cool” as the other kids.  My daughter was part of the laughing peanut gallery. In no uncertain terms I made it clear to her that her background laughter was unacceptable.  As punishment I made her surrender all her “cool clothes” and wear a uniform of plain white shirts, khaki’s and white Ked style shoes.  It worked!

Teaching your child responsibility
My daughter started bringing home terrible grades in a class that she usually was very good in. On contacting the teacher I learned my daughter had not completed a number of class assignments.  I immediately turned off her cell phone.  She had the added  pleasure of spending her monthly cell bill money on studyisland.com which helps students prepare for the annual standardized testing.

Learning to think about others
Donating toys & clothing helps children learn compassion while reducing the clutter.  Every year before birthdays and Christmas we go through  the toy chest and closet and drastically reduce the amount of unused items in preparation for new ones.  I give my daughter the task of cleaning the toys and  even bring her along when donating the items to charity.

I had a friend who would purchase a new toy for her child every time they were going to a birthday party .  This was to prevent her child from throwing a temper tantrum during gift opening time.  This seemed wrong in so many ways.  Imagine what values that child will have growing up believing that the world revolves around them.

Tantrums
Don’t tolerate them, plain and simple. When your child is having a tantrum and mommy comes running to rescue them and shroud them with attention it only teaches that “This is the best way to get mommy’s full attention.”  A simple “time out” is the best way to deal with tantrums.  Let the child know that they will have mommy’s full attention as soon as they compose themselves. This will reduce and likely eliminate future tantrums.

Tags: brats, Children, discipline, spoiled

This entry was posted on Monday, May 18th, 2009 at 11:01 pm and is filed under Children. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.