A breakup is a long and hard journey in which you find that you are a much stronger person in the end. You learn things about yourself; you learn things about the people around you. You learn what you want in a potential mate and you learn what you will and will not tolerate. There is no proven path to heartbreak recovery, but there are a few things that have helped me through the process.  I would like to share them.

First and foremost, every breakup needs an awesome soundtrack. It may seem hard to believe but no matter how bad your situation is, someone else has been in this situation before. That someone has probably written a song about it.  I went through the trillion songs on my computer and put all my favorite breakup songs on a playlist. Oddly enough they brought me some strength. I found myself thinking, “Yes, I feel the exact same way!”

Some people can jump right back into the dating game.  I personally think it’s better if we do not. It has been said that the best way to get over someone old is to find someone new.  I disagree.  In my opinion, the best way to get over someone is to occupy yourself with something new. Breakups can be a good time to try those things that you always wanted to do bet never got around to doing. This can be enlightening and fulfilling.

It can also prevent sitting around thinking about revenge.  In fact, the best revenge is not setting their lawn on fire, throwing piranhas in their pool or sticking a banana in their tail pipe. The best revenge is YOUR happiness. I made a list of all the things I always wanted to do but never got around to doing. Even better, I added things that I wanted us to do together but never did. Little by little I knocked out that list.  It felt great and empowering doing those things without him!  Although he had no clue, it was like saying, “I don’t need you.”

After a breakup there are so many unsaid things, things you need to get off your chest, good and bad.  I had random thoughts and statements that I wanted to express. I typed all of them into my phone and saved them,   I didn’t send them. Whenever I had those unbearable moments when I felt like I was missing him, I would just go and read through my list of thoughts and I would remember why our relationship didn’t work out. Do not fall to the temptation of sending those thoughts.  It’s useless and it won’t resolve anything. It won’t bring you back together and it won’t make them realize what a horrible person they are. It  will make you look like a stalker.  Move on.

I threw myself into my work 100% especially at night when I had those lonely moments. I went to work everyday not crying or in shambles.  I gave it more than my all and I ended up getting many praises and accolades. I would recommend bringing a few time consuming tasks home at night “just in case.”

I went shopping for some super cute workout attire and got in the gym. Working out releases “happy juices” and makes for a great nights’ sleep instead of tossing and turning. Of course weight loss is a perfect excuse for a makeover.  Nothing drastic please. You don’t want people thinking that you are going through a “quarter” life crisis.

.

Stay FAR FAR away from places you are likely to meet your ex. If you were with this person for a while you probably know their routine by heart. I wouldn’t even recommend stopping for gas anywhere near their usual spots at least not for a few months and only after you have spent some time on the jogging trail working out those tears, gotten your makeover inside and out, look and feel fabulous and have zero expectations if you should cross paths.

Now, this one is kind of tricky.  I am a “glass half full” kind of person so if you are not, this may not work for you. I went on a weekend get-a-way to the beach and found great pleasure in photographing the love birds walking down the beach arm-in-arm. Since I cannot take a trip to the beach every weekend  I like to head to the local park and do the same. Seeing other people happy should not make you jealous; it should give you hope that there is someone out there for you.

It will seem like everyone you meet after a breakup will be wrong for you in every way imaginable. They will all seem extremely defective and not worth your time. In  actuality their minor flaws are not true deal breakers.  We just have to let our guard down a little,  Do not dismiss everyone so easily just because they don’t measure up to the “false love” that just broke your heart.

Best of luck on your journey to heartbreak recovery.