In a recent roundtable discussion with the girls I confessed that for some reason I don’t seem to be attracted to men my age.  I don’t look my age; maybe I was blessed with good genes.  Maybe its the trillion dollars I spend on beauty products.  Who knows but THANK GOODNESS!!!

I have wondered.  Am I trying to hold onto my youth?  Am I trying to relive my youth?  I can’t say that it’s for sexual reasons and that younger men have more stamina.  I have dated older men and noticed little difference.

I work hard and I like to play hard.  I live a very active lifestyle, always on the go, planning my next adventure.   I tend to lean towards men who are 2-4 years younger than me.  I’m not saying that men my age or older don’t know how to have fun but the ones I have met seem either boring or in a “been there, done that” state of mind.  Also, as distinguished as it is portrayed in the movies I do not find grey hair to be attractive.

I recently met a cutie who was 10 yrs younger than me and who said that he very much loved cougars.  Although I never dated anyone that much younger, I decided “Why the heck not?”  I got into the How Stella Got Her Groove Back mode and tried to prep myself mentally for the adventure to come.   I must admit, it felt so wrong.   How could I relate to someone who was just entering junior high school when I was giving birth to my child?  Previously I used the word ”cougar” to describe myself but now I was feeling like a predator on the hunt for young meat.   Honestly, what could be expected from a relationship with someone so young?  Romantic weekends on the inflatable couch watching a TV that’s on top of milk crates?

I decided that maybe I’m not a cougar.  I’m more of a puma (a cougar in training).  Maybe, when I’m in my late 30′s, a ten year age gap won’t matter.  For now, in my early 30′s,  it appears to be a Big Deal.

Men who date much younger women are given thumbs up, cheers, kudos and pats on the back.  On the other hand, women who date younger men are more often seen as going through a mid-life crisis.  A lot of younger women date older men because they are looking for a “daddy.”  That word can be used in so many ways.  Possibly a “sugar daddy,” a father figure or just someone financially and emotionally stable.  Older women enjoy younger men because they don’t need a father figure in their life.  They just want someone they can enjoy life with.

The cougar/puma phenomenon seems to be gaining momentum with established women.  It’s not for everyone but it has my stamp of approval.