Sissy Nhlapo – Diplomatic Beauty

She is radiant; her beauty emanating from within.  Yes, she is the wife of a diplomat, South African Ambassador Welile Nhlapo.  She goes beyond protocol, however, she opens her home so that others may learn more about her country, South Africa.   It is evident that she loves her homeland and its’ people.  Her home is beautiful, from the striking Ndebele dolls welcoming visitors into the foyer to her artist daughter’s creative beadwork adorning a wall of Ambassador Nhlapo’s home office, the entire house embodies a warmth of spirit that is palpable.

(Interview with Flaimahmy, December 2, 2009)

FM:  You are the wife of Ambassador Welile Nhlapo, mother of four with all the responsibilities of wife, mother, hostess and representative of your country.  How do you manage it so well?

SN:  I just put my mind on it, on everything that I do.  I just have to support my husband in whatever he does and being the mother of four, three of my kids are not here, there is only one here, I just work to manage it.

FM:  We understand that you teach South African culture through your African Tribal Dolls.  How effective are they as a teaching tool?

SN:  I don’t formally teach but I think the way I present them is a way of teaching.  (Sissy has the dolls, representing the eleven different tribes of South Africa, beautifully displayed in shadow boxes throughout her residence). Also, for example, I teach through the way I wear my traditional attire.  When I wear my traditional attire it is an opportunity to teach people about my culture, the different languages and the different tribes.  Whenever I go to functions and people see me they may ask me about the attire I’m wearing and I’ll say for example, “This is Ndelele.”  It is an indirect way of teaching.

FM:  Do you allow your daughter to play with the dolls?  Has she ever played with them?

SN:  No, I do not allow her to play with them.  She does not play with them.  They are for decor, not for play.

FM:  What do you want Amercians to know about South Africa and South Africans?

SN:  I want Americans to know that South Africa is one of the most beautiful countries in the world with very, very good people.  The culture is very rich.  We have good food.  South Africa also produces very good wine.  We are very proud to be hosting the World Cup, FIFA in 2010.

FM:  You love fashion, you create fashion, you work with South African designer Mandisa Thanda.  Who are some of your other favorite designers?

SN:  I don’t have a specific designer apart from Mandisa.  Whatever I see in the shop I buy if I like it.  I don’t go out of my way to say, “I want to buy a Gucci bag.”    If  it suits me I buy it; I’m not a slave to fashion.

FM:  What do you consider to be your most important role as you travel the world?

SN:  I think it is getting to know people around the world, getting to know how other people live in other countries.

FM:  Do you have a personal philogophy?

SN:  Yes, be yourself and always tell the truth.

FM:  You grew up wanting to be a model.  How difficult is it to become a model in South Africa?

SN:  Presently, it is not difficult but I am forty-four years old and in those days it was very difficult for a black child to be out there in the world and to become a model.  And, for me because I could not travel outside the country I never had a chance to do that.  I grew up in a political environment where modeling was not even one of those options.  I always had this eye for fashion and beauty.

FM:  Who were you most influenced by growing up?

SN:  My mom and I think still she influences me so much.

FM:  In what way?

SN:  She was a very smart woman, very intelligent woman, very ascetic woman, a go-getter like the way I am.  That’s how she brought me up.  She always said, “Be yourself, whatever you want, go for it, don’t even look for any obstacles, always go through those obstacles and get what you want in life.”

FM:  And you have…Laughter

SN:  Yes, I think I do anyway…Laughter

FM:  What do you consider your greatest achievement?

SN:  My greatest achievement was when I was in the military and became an officer.  That was my greatest achievement, working for my government.

FM:  When you were in the military were there a lot of women or were you one of a very few?

SN:  We had a lot of women in the military.  We currently have a lot of women in the military.  Women were generals.  I was an officer.  One of the sacrifices is that I gave up my military career.  Two more courses and I could have become a general.

FM:  In what capacity were you as an officer?

SN:  I worked with three generals, two inspector generals and one sergeant general .  I used to be the PSO, Personal Staff Officer.  In the military it’s called PSO, but it’s a personal assistant.  I served three generals.

FM:  Who do you most admire?

SN:  Myself…Laughter…I think I admire myself.  Every morning I look at myself and I say, “Hey, I think you look beautiful!”  I think so, I admire myself.

FM:  I think that’s wonderful!

FM:  Do you do speaking engagements for young women?

SN:  Nooo…

FM:  You should…absolutely.

SN:  I’m a very shy person.

FM:  That’s ok.  That gives you your wonderful humility and it makes people want to embrace you.

FM:  Who would you love to meet?

SN:  I really don’t know.  I have seen so many important people in my life.  I’ve met President Mandela, President Obama, President Bush, President Clinton…most of the African presidents, I’ve met them.  Honestly, no one at the moment.

FM:  Do you see differences between your daughter’s upbringing here in the United States and your own upbringing?

SN:  Yes, I think my daughter was born with a silver plate.  We always struggled.  There were many in my family.  My mother worked very very hard to have us educated and to give us a better life.  My daughter was born into this; this is what she knows.  She doesn’t know the suffering; unlike me, I know the suffering.

FM:  Do you make a point when you go back to South Africa, or even here, taking her to communities or having her interact with people who are not as fortunate?

SN:  Yes.  When she was about four months old she lived with my in-laws who are not well-to-do.  She lived with them up until she was a year old.  I don’t know if she still remembers that.

FM:  We know motherhood is universally one of the hardest but most rewarding  jobs in the world.  What are some of the daily differences a mother in South Africa would face as compared to here in the United States?

SN:  Basically, I would say the same, bringing up the children, making sure the children go to school to get a better education.  They are well disciplined.  It’s the same.  The way Americans raise their children is the way we raise our children.

FM:  Is there anything specific that you would want our readers to know?

SN:  At the moment I am writing a book.  I haven’t come up with a title yet .  At the moment it is called, “My Story, My Life.”  At the end of December this year it should be out.  That’s one of the things that I am doing and I really feel very good about it.  I’ve been writing this book for the past two years.

FM:  We consider you to be a Fly Mommy.  In your own words, what makes you a Fly Mommy?

SN:  Despite the fact that I live in America I still maintain my originality.  I still listen to the local music and I still watch the movies from my country.  I still speak the language.  Even when I go home people say, “You still speak the same, not as though you live in America.”  I haven’t changed my accent.  I still wear the traditional attires. Wherever I go I stand out and people turn their heads around when they see me.  Above all, I think I am a good mother to my children and a loving wife to my husband.  That’s what makes me a Fly Mom.

Tags: African Tribal Dolls, Ambassador Welile Nhlapo, Ndebele, President Bush, President Clinton, President Nelson Mandela, President Obama, Sissy Nhlapo, South Africa, South African Culture, South African Embassy

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