Absent Parents
I never knew true, unconditional love until I had a child. It blows my mind to know that someone could help create a life, a little piece of themself and then turn their back on their child. I couldn’t imagine knowing that there is a person who is basically half me and not want to be involved in every aspect of their life.
Raising a child isn’t all about helping to bear the financial burden, it’s about being there for emotional support, building lasting memories and offering a different perspective on the world. With my child’s father, the anger that I felt wasn’t because of his lack of financial support because I earned enough to give my daughter everything she needed, although we had to forego certain things she wanted such as a pony and trips to the moon. How do you explain to a child why they don’t have two parents like some of their classmates or the people on TV? How do you explain why daddy or in some cases mommy isn’t around? My daughter has met her father on several occasions but she doesn’t truly “know him”. He has made a handful of attempts to get involved in her life. On one hand I want to deny him the convenience of being able to pop in and out of her life; on the other hand I do not want to deny her the opportunity to get to know her father, if only briefly.
As a single parent I often wonder if being raised in a single parent household will hinder my child from reaching her maximum potential for greatness. I am blessed to have strong men in my family who love my daughter dearly and have gladly stepped in when it comes to male love, bonding time and support. When I have those moments of doubt, I think about all the people who have risen to greatness that were raised in nontraditional households. The greatest example being our President, Mr. Barack Obama, who was raised by a single mother and then by his grandparents.
I’m curious if later on in life when my daughter is grown up, if her father will come around wanting to make amends. It’s amazing how many celebrities were raised by one parent and have had their absent parent return later in life. That goes to show that a single parent can easily raise a well rounded and successful child, but how unfair is it that the parent who jumped ship decades ago gets to come back and bask in the joys of having a fully grown child and possibly a daughter- or son-in-law and grandchildren?
I’ve come to realize that I can’t truthfully answer those questions that have been and will be asked by my child. I can neither tear down nor build up the absent parent. All I can do is love my child twice as much and do whatever I can to minimize the hurt she may feel.
