Mommies Just Want to have FUN!
In the age of “Sex and the City” with “thirty being the new twenty,” more and more women are hanging onto their dancing shoes and hitting the party scene later in life. But, somehow it seems once you have a baby things suddenly change. There seems to be this universal assumption that once you become a mother the socially active woman you once were disappears. You worry what people will think about you, a “mother,” going out.
Of course, after you have your baby you do feel a little awkward. There is this new addition in your life and often those around you, spouse, significant other, family, and even friends look at you a little differently. Suddenly you start to question whether it’s “ok ” to enjoy the same things you did before you became a mother. I mean, what will people say??? You are the same person, you still enjoy your friends, but somehow it’s more complicated. It’s suddenly as if having a baby has put you into the “No Party Zone.”
Being a mother does change you, but it doesn’t change who you are. Giving up everything you enjoy for your child isn’t exactly the right approach to your new life role. Having a social life isn’t a bad thing; getting out helps you blow off steam and gives you something else to do besides changing diapers and making bottles.
Being a bit nervous and reluctant is expected because getting out on the town is a bit more complicated than before. However, this does not mean that you must put yourself in “motherhood exile.” This is not a recommendation to be irresponsible in any way. It is to let you know that your social life doesn’t have to end because you have a child. It is possible to be a great mom and enjoy a social life.
So go out! Enjoy that special time with your girlfriends. Check out a local lounge. Do whatever it was you used to do. You need to. It’s important for your well-being and that of your new baby, spouse, significant other, family, and friends. And, look fantastic doing it!
Having fun will make you feel great inside. You are still the same person, with the added joy of being a mother!
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I truly love this piece. I too am a mother and I agree that one does not have to be in motherhood exile. I don’t believe it makes you a bad mommy if you go out occassionally.
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Perfect!! My baby is now a year old and I am just getting back into the swing of things. I didn’t go out on the town a lot, but my love was fitness. Time at the gym, walks or runs in the park were my own private get away. Once I had my daughter I had to cut back on those things and be home more. It was starting to affect my mood and I just didn’t feel like me anymore. I am slowly getting back into the game now and I see how positive that time for me is for my relationship with everyone around me. I am glad to see that other women are encouraging each other to maintain our individuality and not to become the Stepford Mom.
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Love this you are right on target!
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You are right, young moms should go out and have a good time. It is good for self-esteem and relieves stress, which makes you a better mom. Once our kids are grown, they won’t think twice about going out instead of staying home with mom. LOL