(Interview with Flaimahmy Sunday, May 9, 2010)

FM:  Happy Mother’s Day!  We at Flaimahmy are very honored that you took the time out of your busy schedule to give us this interview today!  We really appreciate it.

FM:  Tell us a little about your childhood.  You’ve stated that your mom “poured extra love” on you because she grew up without her mom.  You met your dad for the first time when you were twenty-five.  How has this affected you?

RT:  No, she had a mom, her grandmother, my big mama raised my mom.  So she had a mom who was better than her mom.  She did have a mommy.

FM:  Yes.  You said that she poured extra love on you.

RT:  Oh, yeah, yeah, she did.  She wanted to make sure that I felt loved all the time and she did an amazing job with that.  I was spoiled with love, not with material things, but with love and affection from my mommy.

FM:  You said that you met your dad for the first time when you were twenty-five.  How has that affected your life?

RT:  I felt closure.  Other than that everything was the same because I always wanted to know my father and I’m glad I met him.  I think everybody deserves to know their parents whether their parents abandoned them or gave them up for adoption or whatever it is.  I think you should know your background.  That is very very important.

FM:  You were a dancer before you joined TLC.  Do you enjoy dancing equally as much as singing?

RT:  Yes, I do.

FM:  You are a beautiful and talented woman.  Do you believe that you’ve ever been taken less seriously in the music industry because of your looks?

RT:  No, not because of looks but maybe because I’m a woman and a black woman.  Not because of looks.  When you are a woman, period, it’s just a lot harder.  You have to prove yourself a lot more than a man does and definitely a lot more than Caucasian women.  I don’t mean it in a bad way.  I’m not putting anybody down.  I’m just saying it’s very hard for black women.  It just is.

FM:  If you had to choose between beauty or talent, which would you pick?

RT:  Beauty…laughter from both.

FM:  Why?…more laughter from both.

RT:  I mean, we can all look around.  Unfortunately, a lot of people are successful because of their beauty.  They don’t have a lot of talent.  It can be in any business; I’m not talking just about the entertainment business.  I’m talking about anywhere.  Sometimes a pretty face can take you a lot further than brains.  It’s terrible but that’s the world we live in.

FM:  You and Dallas Austin have a son, Tron.  How difficult is it being a working mom and a celebrity mom at that?

RT:  It’s challenging, but my focus is always my son anyway so it doesn’t really get that hard for me.

FM:   If there is a difference of opinion about a  parenting issue, how do you and Dallas come to a resolution?

RT:  Well, it helps because we don’t want to be together…laughter. I think most people have issues because somebody still wants to be with the other person and unfortunately they don’t get along and the kid suffers.  Thank God we don’t have that problem and Dallas trusts my judgment as a mommy.  He knows how much I love being a mother.  I don’t have any issues with him.

FM:  That’s great.  That’s awesome.  A lot of  single moms and single dads have a hard time co-parenting.  That’s great that you are doing it together and not having any issues.

RT:  Yes, that’s a blessing actually.

FM:  Is your son interested in the music industry and would you like for him to become a part of it since both of his parents are superstars in the industry?

RT”  Well, first off whatever it is Tron wants to do I would support it.  As a parent you’re supposed to check out all the talent or the gifts that God has given your child and just try to nurture all of them because you don’t know which one will be their career choice.  But, I am really happy to say that Tron is really into music and  just entertainment period.  He plays drums; he’s learning to play the guitar and it comes real natural for him.  It is not hard for him like it is for some of the other kids.  He definitely has a gift there.  He’s very funny and witty.  His timing is real good.  He’s crazy to see, I’m like, “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe it.”  I’m not grooming him to be that way; it’s totally his personality.

FM:  He has a natural talent.

RT:  Yes, he does.  He really does.

FM:  You have stated how important it is for you to produce music that is uplifting, that provides a message of self-esteem for girls, that shows respect.  Is the music industry receptive of that from you?

RT:  Well, yeah.  It’s definitely been receptive to TLC.  That’s all I know.

FM:  In your opinion what is the biggest change in the music industry in the last ten years?

RT:  Lyrics.  The lyrical content.  People aren’t talking about anything anymore.  Some people are, but a very very small percentage of people are.  That is the difference and I think that is very sad because when you’re feeling some kind of way, whether it’s up or down, everybody can grab that song or put that song on that makes them feel better.  You’ll choose to listen to a CD over watching a movie.  Music is very very powerful and I think that the world is losing that.  You have a hard day at work, it’s like, ok, what song are you going to put in, unless you go with something old school.  I just think that people are losing that creativity.  I don’t even think that they’re losing it; they’re not exercising it because it’s there, I do believe it’s there.  But, they’re not doing anything with it.

FM:  Do you think that the cuts in music and art programs in schools have had an affect on the music industry?

RT:  No, I don’t think that’s it because I don’t remember having stuff like that when I was in school.  I think it is what radio is choosing to play; it’s what you are hearing.  I think really what’s going on is that the beats are so hot, the beat catches you but the lyrics don’t.  They don’t connect with you.  They definitely don’t connect with me.  I think the music that they are allowing to be played on the radio and television programs, even the cartoons that they are ok with, are just unbelievable to me.

FM:  Do you allow your son to listen to the radio or watch…

RT:  No.  I monitor everything he listens to and what he watches.

FM:  I know when I interviewed T-Boz she said her daughter is not allowed to watch BET.

RT:  I’m not into letting him watch a lot of that stuff either, not just BET, but videos period because most of the videos are just not appropriate for kids to watch.

FM:  You have a reality show on VH1 called ”What Chilli Wants,” it comes on tonight of course, in which you are searching for Mr. Right.  You’ve been involved in some serious relationships, Dallas Austin, Usher, and Floyd Mayweather, for example.

RT:  No. Wait, wait, wait.

FM:  Ok, maybe not Floyd.

RT:  Floyd and I have never been in a relationship.  We’re just friends.

FM:  Ok.  We have to watch and see but if you should meet the person that you really want to be with and you’re interested in, on the show, would you keep a low profile in that relationship since you’ve had such high profile relationships before?

RT:  Well, I just think that once people know who you are, I don’t care who you’re with, because you’re not going to hide to go to the movies.  It just gets out.  Sometimes there is nothing you can do.  Really, my relationship with Usher was the only high profile relationship because that’s the only one that you saw.  Most people didn’t really know about me and Dallas and when we were together the media wasn’t crazy the way it is now.  People kind of cared what was going on but now it’s like everything is a big deal.  A lot of times you could be hanging out with just a friend, I mean really truly a friend and the next thing you know, that’s the person you’re dating and you can say all day long that it’s not true, it’s not true, but the negative stuff is like such a virus and it travels and it sticks, unfortunately.  That’s the part I hate.

FM:  Nowadays, if you’re famous and you’re seen out with someone, it is assumed that you’re automatically dating.  Do you think that people who are already famous, like yourself, who have been in the business for a long time, would prefer it as it used to be where not so much attention was paid and you had more privacy?  Or, do you think the overwhelming media curiosity feeds an environment where people want to be famous just to be in the spotlight?

RT:  That’s a two part question.  I’ll say that I’d rather it be not a big deal, do you know what I mean?  Because, I hate that every little thing, whether it’s true or not, is printed.  People don’t even do their research to make sure it’s true and they just put it all out.  Then, you do have a lot of people who want that and most of those people in my opinion aren’t celebrities.  These people will do whatever to get on tv and get people to start talking.

FM:  I am so impressed at how great a shape you are in?  Do you have an exercise regimen?

RT:  Well, it starts with genetics; I thank God for good genes, one.  And, two, I work out three to four times a week.  I eat well.  I don’t eat a lot of sweets.  I definitely don’t eat a lot of breads and stuff like that, stuff that will stick to you.  I eat stuff that is going to leave…laughter…as we all should.  I exercise and just take care of myself.  This is my thing.  First of all, I don’t understand why any man, unless there is an illness, ok?  I’m not talking about people like that.  If there is a medical problem you cannot help that.  That’s totally different.  I’m talking about people who are perfectly fine healthwise.  I don’t understand a man with a pot belly; I don’t get it.  When Crystal, my publicist and I are together, I point them out, I say, “Look at that.”   I don’t get it because men don’t have babies.  They don’t have periods.  They don’t go through the change.  Their metabolism doesn’t slow down the way ours does.  I don’t get it; I do not understand any man who does not have a medical issue because I don’t want any problems when you put this out; I don’t get that.  If you want to be in good shape then you will be in good shape.  It becomes a way of life for you.  It’s so easy to just get out of shape and people, especially some women, say, “Girl, I’ve still got that baby weight”…and that baby is six!  No, that’s not baby weight.  Stop blaming it on the poor baby.  You just have to want it.  You have to want to be healthy and you have to want to be in the best shape you can possibly be in and all I think about is, I have health insurance but I don’t want to have to use it all the time.   You want to stay out of the doctor’s office.  Who wants to cause yourself to have a disease because you’re eating all of that crazy stuff?  With the internet we’re so privy to information that we can read upon everything.  Knowledge is key and it is out there.  No excuses.

FM:  Do you have a life philosophy?

RT:  Girl, I’ve got a lot.  There’s another list for you.  I guess for me, I just feel like…I don’t know…what is my life philosophy?  It’s hard because I have so many different sayings.  It just depends on the subject.  I have a philosophy for everything, I think.

FM:  One little one that you would like to share with the readers?

RT:  Well, always be humble.  Be nice.  If you are humble and nice it takes you a long way in life, it really does.  People remember nice people.  You also remember sh…ty people too and you don’t ever want to deal with those people again.  But, nice people, you always want to do something good for them and you’ll remember them and it just pays to be a good person.

FM:  I already know that you are a Fly Mommy and we at Flaimahmy consider you to be a Fly Mommy.  What, in your own words, makes you a Fly Mommy?

RT:  What makes me a Fly Mommy?  Well, I’ll think about what Tron would say…because I’m fun.  I’m a fun mommy so that makes me a Fly Mommy.  I’m not one of those uptight mommies.  I mean I have my rules and regulations so I don’t play.  But, I am a lot of fun.  I have a really fun time with my son.

FM:  Is there anything else you would like to share with the readers?

RT:  Well, just keep watching, “What Chilli Wants.”  And, keep your standards.  Always make out your list.  Your list may not be as long as mine; I’ve lived a bit.  I’ve still got a long way to go.  Once you really know who you are and you know your worth then you’ll have a list.  Know your worth.  Get your list together and be patient for that good man.