It’s not easy being mommy, daddy, doctor, psychiatrist, teacher and all that encompasses single motherhood.  Developing and nurturing a relationship with someone new while single mothering is even harder but it is possible.  Here are a few basic tips to help single mothers jump back into the dating pool and still raise well-adjusted, happy children.

For starters, let them know you intend to start dating again.  Teenagers understand that their parents have needs. Younger children also understand that mommy needs a “friend” of the opposite sex.  Don’t be afraid to explain to them that you would like to meet someone.  It doesn’t mean that their father is being replaced; it just means you want to make a new friend.  You’d be surprised how open and encouraging kids can be.

Never introduce your children to a new guy in the beginning of a relationship, especially if you plan on dating more than one.  Bringing someone new into the lives of children is hard enough without complicating matters with short-term guys whose names they’ll have to forget.  It’s best to wait until the relationship has legs before the group trip to the zoo.

Although it’s important for him to get along with the kids, allowing a man you’ve been on two dates with to spend time with them, only for him to disappear is tough. Don’t subject them to that.  Teenagers guard themselves from new guys because they know that it might not last, so they don’t invest their time or feelings.

Do not allow your new guy to sleep over.  Late night visits are also discouraged.  Children, especially those who tend to wander at night are not easily fooled.  You can’t convince a child that it’s just a dream.  That does not work so don’t try it.  You will be caught, so keep it from happening.

Don’t behave any way you wouldn’t want your kids to.  Young children are impressionable and young girls mimic their mothers.  If she sees you bringing home several guys in a month, she’ll think she should do it too.  If she sees you representing yourself like Mae West, she will too.   Set the example of respect for your children to follow.

Your children are the most important people in your life so treat them like it.  Their feelings are important, as are their opinions and input.  Talk to them about the progress of the relationship.  Should they be expecting company for dinner?  Will he be coming along to the park?  The kids can be trusted with your feelings and they have to be able to trust you with theirs.

Developing a new relationship can be daunting, but in the long run, if you like him the kids probably will too.  Even if it takes some time, don’t force him on them and don’t force them on him.  They’ll get to know each other on their own terms and you might just end up one big happy family.