The decision to re-enter the work force after having a baby is by no means an easy one for anyone to make.  If you truly need the extra income to make ends meet, the decision is made for you. You must return to your workplace as soon as possible to earn income for the new addition regardless of any inclination to stay home.   However, if you have the ability to make a choice, a real choice, to stay home or go back to your pre-baby job, then take the time you need to make the right decision.

Most women think long and hard about what they plan to do after the baby comes.  Some women anticipate the sheer joy of being able to be a stay-at-home mom.  They plan to be the primary care giver, spend their days strolling through the nearest park, joining mommy and me groups, shopping for organic fruits to share during daily snack time and generally ensuring that their baby gets everything a baby could possibly need.

Other women plan to return to their careers as soon as possible.  They, too, think long and hard about the logistics and financial aspects involved long before they ever lay eyes on their child.  They map out their maximum maternity leave, research day care options, interview nannies and plan out schedules with their bosses.

Both sides of the issue, to return to work or stay at home, require much planning and flexibility.  Both sides also typically fail to realize that all of those plans and preparations simply get tossed out of the window when that baby is first placed in mom’s arms.  The old adage, “Life is what happens when you are busy making plans” is never truer than when a baby enters the picture.  You can never predict what you will want to do until you actually bring that baby home.

The decision is as individual as you and your baby are.  So many factors come into play that you may never have anticipated.  If your baby has special needs, your plans definitely change.  Your finances may require you to return part time, or you may find you can adjust your lifestyle to stay home full time easier than you anticipated. The key to making the right decision, the decision that is best for you as an individual, is to be perfectly honest with yourself.

You may accept or disregard the advice or wishes of others, even the most well-meaning notions of your husband, partner or extended family.  If they impress upon you the need to stay home when you truly desire to work outside of the home, you will feel unfulfilled and as if you have no control in your own destiny, if you simply acquiesce.  If you feel as if you must contribute financially and stay on the fast track for job security, guilt will drive you to fail career-wise and also as a parent.

Ultimately, you must be content and happy with the decision you make or feelings of guilt or resentment will permeate into every facet of your life.  Equally important when it comes to the decision to return to work or not is to be able to express your feelings honestly.  You have to be able talk to your loved ones and weigh your options, wants and needs as a unit.

Don’t ever be afraid to turn to other women also.  While each circumstance is unique, the struggle with guilt of either staying home or going back to work is not unique.  Many before you have made the decision.  Rely on their honesty, trust in your own feelings and make the best choice for you.

When you do stay at home or go back to your career, you will be a happier, mentally healthier and more fulfilled mother in the long run.  Remember, a happy mom is the best gift you can give your child.