Do not over indulge your child
It’s a battle to raise a happy child, yet not spoiled or ungrateful. When I was my daughter’s age I didn’t have a cell phone, multiple video games systems, my own computer or tons of other gadgets, gizmos and games. In giving your child whatever their heart desires, it should not be about keeping up with the Jones’s or buying every toy on the shelf just because you can afford it. As a parent you want to give your child everything your parents gave you plus more, however, one can have too much of a good thing.  Remember,  “He who has everything appreciates nothing.”  It’s important not to give in to every request.

Teach the meaning of “NO”
“No” is a very simple word that for some can be very hard to understand.  If your child grows up thinking that “No” means “Yes,” “Maybe “or “Lets Debate,” they will lack a respect for authority.  It is important to hold your ground when you tell them no even when they try everything to convince you otherwise.

Understand consequences
It is important to take action for bad behavior. Children must know such behavior is not acceptable and will not be tolerated.  If your child knows that they are not to do something but they do it anyway and you do nothing, you cannot in turn be shocked when you see the bad behavior displayed again in the future. Corporal punishment is not acceptable, but extra chores and/or reduced privileges can do wonders.  Even the smallest form of punishment can go a long way in the mind of a child.

For example, a neighbor’s child was being teased because his clothing wasn’t as “cool” as the other kids.  My daughter was part of the laughing peanut gallery. In no uncertain terms I made it clear to her that her background laughter was unacceptable.  As punishment I made her surrender all her “cool clothes” and wear a uniform of plain white shirts, khaki’s and white Ked style shoes.  It worked!

Teaching your child responsibility
My daughter started bringing home terrible grades in a class that she usually was very good in. On contacting the teacher I learned my daughter had not completed a number of class assignments.  I immediately turned off her cell phone.  She had the added  pleasure of spending her monthly cell bill money on studyisland.com which helps students prepare for the annual standardized testing.

Learning to think about others
Donating toys & clothing helps children learn compassion while reducing the clutter.  Every year before birthdays and Christmas we go through  the toy chest and closet and drastically reduce the amount of unused items in preparation for new ones.  I give my daughter the task of cleaning the toys and  even bring her along when donating the items to charity.

I had a friend who would purchase a new toy for her child every time they were going to a birthday party .  This was to prevent her child from throwing a temper tantrum during gift opening time.  This seemed wrong in so many ways.  Imagine what values that child will have growing up believing that the world revolves around them.

Tantrums
Don’t tolerate them, plain and simple. When your child is having a tantrum and mommy comes running to rescue them and shroud them with attention it only teaches that “This is the best way to get mommy’s full attention.”  A simple “time out” is the best way to deal with tantrums.  Let the child know that they will have mommy’s full attention as soon as they compose themselves. This will reduce and likely eliminate future tantrums.

Though we’re thinking it, is it ok to discipline someone else’s child?  Are you ok with someone else disciplining your child?  I would like to think that if my child were out doing something she should not be doing that a responsible adult would step in and guide her in the right direction.   For the most part, however, most people are not comfortable with a random stranger disciplining their child.   This is usually reserved for family and close friends.

Not too long ago it was acceptable to discipline a neighbor’s child as you would your own.  I don’t think that holds true anymore.  I asked some other mothers to share their stories of other people disciplining their children and how they felt about it.  The consensus pretty much was that most people are ok with someone else disciplining their child when danger is involved.   For the most part, when children are just being annoying, it’s best not to get involved.

Once I was in the the local office supply store.  My little five year old started climbing the store ladder.  An employee came running over to stop her and was screaming at her.  I was very upset by this.  I’m ok with someone telling my child no and maybe even explaining why she shouldn’t be doing what she is doing,   However, blatantly yelling at my child infuriated me.  We’ve all heard the saying, “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.”  I was ready to put on my boxing gloves.  It wasn’t because he was trying to stop my child from climbing the ladder to keep her safe, it was the way he spoke.

To maintain a modicum of sanity most parents do have this amazing ability to tune-out our children.  Most likely, there are times when our children are more out-of-control than we realize.  However,  if you are out and about and happen to get stuck next to a child that is being very disruptive while the parent calmly reads a book, even though you want to say something,  it’s probably best not to get involved, even if you simply want to ask that child to “Please stop.”