I use the entire Mother’s Day weekend.  On Saturday, we get together for a family and friends cookout.  We make the guys grilling heroes by letting them believe cooking burgers, brats and hot dogs is really creating a stress-free atmosphere for us and the planning, shopping and preparing of side dishes pale in comparison to the meat main attractions.  Then, on Sunday, the moms go shopping in Galena, Illinois, a town with a historic main street full of unique shops.  We browse a lot, buy a little and have lunch.  We leave early and get back too late to worry about laundry, dishes or dust.  The situation is win-win for everyone.

I encourage you to try something similar this Mother’s Day weekend.  Let your kids and husband “lavish” you on Saturday and make Sunday YOUR day (or vice-versa). If you don’t enjoy shopping or there aren’t any malls or quaint shopping areas in your area, plan to do something else you enjoy.   The key is to get away and remove yourself from anything which might tempt you from your Mother’s Day Off.

What are the benefits of being a solo mom??  Well to start with, there’s no one to argue with about what’s the right or wrong way to raise your child (well, except for your extended family, teachers, friends, strangers… there’s no end to who will tell you what you are doing is wrong).  As a solo mom, you are free to make all decisions regarding the care for your child without having someone else debate your logic.

Additionally, there’s no one else for your child to go to, to undermind your authority.  No “dad said I could” or having them run and ask the other parent after you clearly said no (not to say they won’t do this at grandma’s house).

But also there are drawbacks to being a solo mom.  First, and many times most difficult to deal with is no days off, no every other weekend, or summer at dad’s house.  Having time with your friends means you’re either bringing your kid or you’re getting a babysitter.  Doctors appointments, hair salon, spa, massage all require a babysitter or to be done while your child is in school, which means missed time at work.

Secondly, there’s no one there for re-enforcements.  Sometimes as parents we need someone to back us up on things, to say “listen to your mother” or to give us a break when we’ve been helping with the homework for the past 2 hours and getting nowhere.  We all have strengths and weaknesses in life… sometimes your weakness is your child’s love.  It’s hard to help your kid fly a kite when for the past 30 years of your life, you’ve never successfully flown one and have already given up on that being in your repertoire of skills.

After dwelling on the terms solo mom and single mom for a couple days, even weeks, I came to the conclusion, it doesn’t really matter.  Being a mom is tough for all of us, single, solo, married, committed relationship or otherwise.  We all have strengths, weaknesses, moments of supreme greatness and complete and utter failures, no  matter our status.  I’ve decided the only title I need is Mom.