Derek, from Milwaukee, Wisconsin, received Congressional nominations to attend both the U.S. Naval Academy and the U.S. Air Force Academy.  He was the first African American male to receive these honors.  After attending the Air Force Academy Prep School for one year he accepted a scholarship to Florida A&M.  While there he began his radio career.

He and his wife have four children, two girls and two boys.  They reside in Atlanta.

(Interview with Flaimahmy, September 9, 2009)

FM:  Do you think moms and dads could be on a collision course with more working moms demanding equitable division of the household and child care responsibilities?

DH:  Do I think they are on a collision course?

FM:  Yes.

DH:  I tend to be an idealist. I think that all the responsibilities of the household can be adequately divvied up between both adults.  Oftentimes, there is a point of contention between who’s doing what and who’s main responsibility what is.  If  both parents are out of the house, they have their nine to five, or the way the economy is their nine to seven, or whatever it is, and whose responsibility is it to pick up the kids, whose responsibility is it to make sure that dinner is set for the household for the enitre week… it’s more about communication really I think.

FM:  Do you believe in traditional men and women roles in committed relationships or marriages?

DH:  I believe that whoever is the main breadwinner probably gets a little bit more leeway because being the main breadwinner they need to probably be outside the house a little bit more whether that’s the man or the woman.  In terms of whether this is a woman’s role or this is a man’s role I don’t  believe in that.

FM:  How do you feel about “girls night out” for mothers?

DH:  I think it’s awesome.  Girl’s night out fosters more boy’s night out.  Seriously, I think everybody needs a break at some point in time.  You should treat the household just like it’s a  full time job.  Just like you need a vacation from work you need a vacation from your work at home sometimes.   I think girl’s night out usually accomplishes that.

FM:  In the work environment do you believe that men have it easier than women?

DH:  No, I don’t.  I’ll tell you why.  Because society is still caught up in a lot of traditional roles and a lot of times I think we as a society choose traditional roles when they are convenient for us and when they are not convenient for us then we have a problem.  A lot of times women may say well in the workplace I’m not regarded for certain jobs that they would regard a man for, which I think in this day and age is rapidly coming to a close.  I’ve worked for a number of women and I hold them in high regard.

But with men, you know what, there’s been no change, there’s no empowerment.  First of all, men are viewed a certain way by society and by the work force and if they don’t react in that way then sometimes they are viewed as less than men.  It’s not the men viewing themselves that way it’s society viewing them that way.  I think a lot of men, for instance, wouldn’t have a problem being stay-at-home dads if the woman is the main bread winner or even if the woman is the main bread winner and her job pays more than his the man usually doesn’t have a problem with it, it’s society which causes the man I guess to go ahead and question his work.

I think women a lot of times in this day and age feel the same way especially women who have been out in the work force.  When they decide to start a family they take some time off.   A lot of women I have talked to get antsy because they are used to running a department and now they are at home with the little one.   All their energy… they were used to going ahead and creating projects…now to be at home managing that household…a lot of times they long for some of the inter-activities that they had with the workplace.  So, I think it cuts both ways really.  Men and women in their views are not as different as they want each other to think.

FM:  Do you think women in general put too much pressure on men?

DH:  No, I think men put pressure on men.  That’s just simply the way society has trained us.  I think in the conventional roles of  men and women we sometimes pick and choose when it’s convenient  for us.  There are some women who if it’s convenient for them subscribe to the idea of  this is a man’s role, but if it’s something that they are passionate about then they question whether they are being short-changed even if  society has traditionally said that’s a man’s role.   To wrap that up in a nutshell, I don’t think women as a whole are too hard on men.  Men are harder on themselves and some women who have bought into the idea of  the traditional male roles of society.

FM:  Who are two women that you really admire?

DH:  Living or dead?

FM:  It can be either.

DH:  My grandmother I admire because all the issues that single working moms face today she was doing that and excelling back in the sixties.  She got a nursing degree in the south when there were not a lot of black nurses.  She was running an operating room back in the sixties and still raising three kids on her own and doing it well and successfully.  I admire her.  She would be my main woman that I would admire and I admire my wife for putting up with me and running our household.

FM:  What household chore do you hate doing?

DJ:  You know what, I hate organizing socks.  I hate it.   I would rather go buy everybody new socks rather than try to find matches for the socks we have.  Especially when you have kids and their socks are all over the place; you’ve got to match them.  It’s just the biggest headache.   I can deal with everything else.

FM:  Who’s smarter, men or women?

DH:  OK.  Uhhh…I don’t believe that any particular sex is smarter than the other.   It’s the way they go about it.  I think women are very coy about being smart; men want you to know that they are smart immediately.

FM:  We consider you to be a Fly-Daddy.  In your own words  could you tell us what makes you a Fly-Dad?

DH:  Uhhh…you know I think…what makes me a Fly-Dad?  You know I handle what my responsibilities are which is what men should do.  Just what would make a Fly-Mommy… how do you juggle all of the things that you do…you juggle spending time with the family plus juggle your career.  I think that’s what makes me a Fly-Dad.  I try to keep both in balance.

FM:  Is there anything else that you would like to share with us, any upcoming events sponsored by Majic?

DH:  Oh yes, don’t forget our Masquerade Party on October 31 from 7:00 p.m. to 3:00 a.m. at Pearl Bistro. Go to our website MajicAtl.com for more details and ticket prices.

He is a member of the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences (NARAS/Grammy Foundation) and an Advisory Board Member of the Future of Music Coalition.  Leron is a former draft pick of the Atlanta Braves.  He was honored as one of the Top Counselors at Law in “Who’s Who in Black Atlanta.”

(Interview with Flaimahmy, August 7, 2009)

FM:  How do you balance the time demands of your law practice and spending quality time with your children?

LR:  It is difficult at times, but the kids are inked in first and everything else is penciled in.  I do my best to work everything around the kids.  Sometimes that is more difficult than others.  My kids are ten and seven and very active in school and sports.  I often have to leave the office late afternoon to get them and take them somewhere.  I have negotiated deals at the ball park, the gym or late in the evening after the kids are in bed.  Client’s don’t care how it gets done.  They want to make sure it is done and done correctly.

FM:  Aside from the caretaker role, how do your kids benefit from your career?

LR:  When I have to travel, I talk about it with my kids.  We keep a map and put stickers on all the places I have been.  They look up places like Paris, London and Norway.  It has expanded their horizons.  My daughter told me the other day that she is going to move to Paris and be a chef when she grows up.  That statement alone lets me know that their vision has expanded as a result of our discussions about travel.

FM:  In general, do you think that there is an equitable distribution of work, household and family responsibilities between working mothers and working fathers?

LR:   I think maybe the responsibilities are different.  I think they are equally difficult.  In general, moms may carry a little bit more burden.

FM:   Do you think that  the primary responsibility for child-rearing should be the mom’s or the dad’s?

LR:    I think it has to be both; it should be both although they may do different things.  Sometimes the mother may be more nurturing; maybe the dad is the disciplinarian or in some other role.  I think everybody has their responsibilities.

FM:  In family decisions who do you think should have the last word?

LR:    Oh goodness.   That’s the million dollar question.  Ideally, of course, it should be a collective decision especially based on the children.   But, typically the dad has the last word, I think.

FM:   In the work environment, who do you think has it easier?

LR:   In terms of the work environment?

FM:  Yes, do you think women have it easier than men or men have it easier than women?

LR:    I can only speak about me because I’m a man and it’s tough when you have a full load of work reponsibilities but yet your children want you to be at their practice and pick them up and take them here and there.  That’s not  always conducive to my work schedule, but the kids take priority.   You just have to make it work.  I think moms have to do the same thing.   They just have to make it work.  I don’t think it’s so much a mom vs. dad thing as much as it is what your line of profession is, what your hours are and how conducive that is to raising children.  Some dads I know that are good friends of mine spend way more time with their children than the moms because of their occupation and their work schedule.  It leaves them to be the primary care-taker for the child.  I think that’s more a function of what your career is, your hours, and your occupation than mother vs. father.

FM:   Do you believe in traditional roles for men and women?

LR:   I don’t know what a traditional role is but…sure.

FM:  Well, our society has been built on men working and the mother staying at home.

LR:   Oh, that traditional?

FM:  Yes, there are traditional roles that at this point have changed a lot.  Do you think that we are moving too far away from tradition?  Do you believe in the tradition?

LR:    You know, I think it really has to strike a balance because it depends on what each person wants.  My philosophy is as long as the mom and the dad can come to some agreement on what their expectations are it can work.  For example, if the mom and dad both agree that the mom should stay home and the dad should work , then it can work.  There are some trade-offs because the dad may have to work a whole lot to pull all the weight financially and that leaves a lot of work at home for the mom because dad’s gone.  So, there’s this trade-off.  Any decision is going to be a trade-off.  There are pluses and minuses.  My own belief is if your kids are in school there is no need for the mom to be home all day.   I think the mom working is fine as long as everything can be accomplished at home.

FM:   What household chores do you hate doing?

LR:   Oooh.  Ummm…hate doing.  I hate cleaning up after dinner.

FM:  So you’re not a big fan of the dishes?

LR:    Naaah.  But, it has to get done.

FM:   Yes, it does.

FM:  Who’s smarter, men or women?

LR:   Oh, that’s loaded…terrible!  That is not even a fair question because it doesn’t matter whether it’s a man or woman; it’s individuals.  Some men are smarter and some women are smarter.

FM:  Good answer.

FM:  Do you think mothers should wear mini-skirts?

LR:   Yeah, if your figure can take it.  If your figure can accomodate a mini-skirt in the right setting, yes.  Maybe not to a parent-teacher conference.  But, if you can ”rock it”  go for it.

FM:   Name two women that you really admire?

LR:    Do they have to be living?

FM:   No.

LR:    The two women that I really admire are both my grandmothers who were very influential in my life… and my mom… I’ve got to get three… my two grandmothers and my mom… all three of  which have passed and are looking down on me from Heaven still guiding me.

FM:  Tell us in your own words what makes you a Fly-Daddy?

LR:   Well, I think because when I’m with my kids they get 110% and although they don’t think I’m cool, I think I’m cool.   They can’t believe that I’ve ever done anything else before they were around.  Being with the kids, giving 110% for them, making sure all of their needs are taken care of, and then when it’s time to hang out  and be with my friends I can flip over to that script as well.