Let’s start by saying that when you are getting to know someone and you know that something does not feel right nor does it sound right, nine times out of ten, its probably because it is not right!

Let’s say you meet someone, most would like to refer to and call this period the ‘honeymoon phase’ because it seems as if everything this person does is so ‘cute’ and you can find no fault in them at all.  But, one thing that most could tell you about a liar is that you automatically know RIGHT AWAY that they are lying because things just do not line up correctly.
Okay, so you’re getting to know this person more and more and as you are developing this ‘wonderful’ relationship, you constantly get this nudge or bell going off in your head, but you ignore it.

One thing about the truth, no matter how much you ignore it, it doesn’t go away.  So, you keep getting this feeling that something is just not right; things just don’t add up and something is just plain out wrong.  But, you don’t want to believe the worst about your new found sweetie so you keep telling yourself that you are being paranoid and you keep ignoring that voice.
A rented lie is worst than buying the truth and paying full price!  FYI, the greatest lie you can rent is the one you loan yourself because you are the greatest believer of all things personal.

So, one week leads to two, time passes and you continue to allow this person in your life. 
Now you’re in love.  So what’s next?  I’ll tell you what.  Now you have created a monster of a relationship that is built on and sustained by lies.  An old saying goes, ‘don’t spray perfume on a pig because it still STINKS’!  The same truth applies to this situation.  When you realize that you are in a relationship with this person, hope is not lost.  You just have to have enough confidence and courage to stand up to this person and confront the lies head on.

If the person is willing to change (mind you we don’t live in a perfect world so change will NOT be immediate) then stick around.  If not, in the words of the great Ray Charles, HIT THE ROAD JACK!
What about you, are you in love with a liar?  How are you going to handle the situation?

Being at such a tortuous juncture in a marriage—possibly one with children—is one of the most difficult, confusing and painful experiences of a lifetime. Some have said that the death of a spouse would be easier to suffer, because the decision is made for you and when it’s over, it’s over.

Considering a divorce is a lonely, jagged, mind-bending obsession, no one can tell you what to do. No one can tell you if your decision will be the best one. No one can tell you if your children will fare best in the long run if you stay or if you go. Oh, the continuous loop of questions that run through the mind of someone seeking an end to the pain caused by a relationship in turmoil.

“Will I get over it?”
“Do I have to live the rest of my life this way?”
“What about me?”
“Will my kids be okay?”
“Will I ever meet anyone else?”
“How can I afford to be on my own?”
“How can I hurt someone like this?”
“Am I a bad person?”
“Why can’t I just be happy?”

Having spent about 14 of the 15 years of my second marriage asking myself these questions, I know how crazy the loop can make you. My second ex-husband and I probably spent thousands of dollars on marital counselors trying to fix what I realized in the end wasn’t even broken. Just completely, utterly wrong.

I can tell you that peace with my decision to end my second marriage came only when I could answer the following question with a resounding “yes,”

“Have you done everything possible to find a way to be happy staying in this marriage?”

I had a personal epiphany after I had made my decision to go; I felt the sensation of truth settle in my gut when I realized that not only did I deserve more from an intimate relationship, but my husband deserved better than a wife who at best felt ambivalent toward him and their marriage. And, my sons deserved a mom who could be herself—happy outside of limbo-land and free of the lead weight of indecision.

Even after I knew I had done everything I could, it still took some time to find the courage to break my husband’s heart and change my sons’ lives forever. So I drew on some of the best and truest wisdom (usually found in the form of a worn-out cliché): You’ll know when you know. So I waited and then I did. Courage came in the wake of knowing.

Obviously, you should not stay one second longer if you or any of your loved ones are being hurt or are otherwise in danger emotionally or physically. Leave first; think about divorce later.

Otherwise and in the meantime, take care of yourself. Go easy on yourself and your partner, realizing that you share a history and always will. You loved each other once, no matter who did what to whom since. Aim for friendship, regardless of whether you decide to stay or go. I fully assure you that this is a very hittable target. While you are trying to find your answer, spend some time alone getting to know your true best friend “intuition” again. This is the only “person” who can tell you what to do and the only one you’d want to. Then, when “intuition” speaks, listen.

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